Showing posts with label purpose. Show all posts
Showing posts with label purpose. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

The Best Christmas Gift I ever Received

    One of my closest friends asked me last week about the best Christmas gift I had ever received. I have thought much about this over the last week. I have lived a blessed life and given far more than I deserve and far more than anyone needs. Christmas in my family has always been a giant part of our year. We all tend to decorate early and a lot, we have multiple Christmas gift exchanges with family and friends. This year is no different with us having them on December 23, 24, 25, 26 and the 27! I have been given gifts  on Christmas day that are far better than I would even think to ask for.  So choosing a best gift seemed like it would be impossible. Yet, it is not. One gift given to me by my mother stands out among all I have ever been given. 
    When I was 16 my mom took me downtown to Chicago. As a family we went pretty much every year during the holidays. We looked at the decorated windows at Marshall Fields and Carson's, ate Garrett's popcorn and saw the giant tree in Daily Plaza. But this year was different, mom took me to see relative I had not met before, His name was Carl. I knew of him because my grandma had always referred to him as "the bum" whom she had prayed for regularly. He was my grandmothers cousin, and spent the better part of his life drinking and homeless, even losing his legs due to his problem. Carl had rejected his family, and now at Christmas in 1985, Carl was living in a horrible nursing home, all alone in Chicago. The home Carl lived in was a dirty, old, falling apart building what was was once a city  hotel, turned into a nursing home. As we walked in lobby I will never forget the smell or sights of that place. Carl's room was up several flights of stairs at the very end of a long hallway. When we entered his room he peered up from his wheelchair at us, with confused look. My mom introduced us, and Carl began to cry. We gave him some gifts, and mom made some small talk before we left. Carl wept as we left, something I think of so often. 
    The next Christmas my mom took me to see Carl again and this time my new girlfriend Karol came too. It was hard to go back, as I had then heard Carl's sad story and knew his regrets of life. I had purchased him a gift myself this time, a Chicago Bears sweater, and my mom had brought him some bags of candy. The home where he lived seemed even worse than the year before, almost like something from a movie. As we entered Carl's room, he lit up. We gave him gifts and he told us how the people that worked there would steal the gifts if he left them out so he put them under his bed covers. Again as we left, he cried. That evening as I lay in my own bed I wept. The pitiful condition of Carl's life was heartbreaking. His life's decisions and sickness had destroyed him, causing him to lose any loving relationships he may have had. I remembered the story my grandma told about how Carl's brother Tom had to look for him after their mother had died and  found him passed out, laying in the street. Carl hated for us to leave because he had no other visitors at Christmas or at all during the year. Carl's life was lonely and filled with regret. That night my life was changed forever because of those visits. My selfish, self absorbed 17 year old existence had not counted on being touched in that way. It caused me much pain and even some depression over the next years. While I had no idea at the time, it was the beginning of God implanting a passion for those who exist like Carl. Those who are rejected, lonely, regretful and suffering. I don't know if my mom intended to have a visit with Carl change me or not. I do know that my mom has much the same passion I do, for those like Carl. She is a woman filled with compassion and love, and has always put her faith into action. These few years of visiting Carl are part of the foundation of my life and relationship with God. I know how to serve Him because my my mom showed me, I know how to love the unlovable because my mom did. I know she learned this from her own mother, who always took in people in need. This gift is one I cannot repay, one that I can only pray will help my own children find their path to Gods purpose for them.  It is by far the greatest Christmas gift I have ever received. I have hope that someday I will walk through the gates of heaven and be greeted by Carl, whose life was changed by Gods love, shown in the form of my mother. Thank you Mom for your love for me, and more importantly your love for those people forgotten by the world, who God loves so dearly. Merry Christmas!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Happy New Year

Many are the plans of a man's heart but it is the Lords purpose that prevails.
Proverbs 19:21

I have been reflecting on the year of 2009, as many have, entering a new year. It was a good year, a hard year, a growing year, a year God pressed on me to takes steps to move closer to him. This is good... yet growth hurts as it stretches and changes everything.
Our camp theme was "I am God's Plan". The camp theme is a big deal to me. I spend allot of time in thought, prayer and preparation before I present it to everyone. The theme over the last year has helped me to come to a place of acceptance of what I believe God is moving me towards in my life. A year ago as a cloudy vision unfolded, I did not like God's purpose for me and was unwilling to accept it, as I already had a plan. So 12 months later and I have grown and now can see with clearer vision how God will unfold His plan for me and others. I am scared as move forward, I have said before, that the man God has shown me down the road, seems like an impossibility for me to be. I see my self doing things I know I cannot do, nor really want to. But, above my fear and self centeredness is my love for God, and knowledge that He can accomplish anything He wishes through us if we just say yes.
So in 2010 I am resolving to be at peace where God is taking me, to act in His strength as I do the work He lays out, and to be relentless in conveying the message He gives me to share.
I share all of that to tell you our theme at Camp Daniel for 2010..."We are Strong" I know it sounds simple, yet it conveys what we need to believe in order to share God's love in way to shake the world. Our campers must know that they are strong, because God has gifted them with weakness, and it is easier for Him to show His power through already weak vessels. We must come to the church with this message; embrace those who seem weak, those the world hates, because they are strong.
I am, on one hand not looking foward to a year of embracing this paradox. It will prove to be hard, to say the least. But on the other hand I look forward to the challenge of leading the charge. I will, in the coming days share more about it. In the meantime I am thankful to God for His patience in dealing with me yet another year as I pursue my own plans and He laughs as He unfolds His purpose. I sure am weak... I mean strong!
LT